3. Prison Mike - The Convict, 3x09

(Top 20 Michael Scott Moments)

No explanation necessary, simply:

"I’m prison Mike! You know why they call me prison Mike?!" - Michael

Do you really expect us to believe you’re somebody else?” - Angela

"Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, beeyotch?! All right, hey, hey, hey, hey, that’s just the way we talk in the clink. Been a lot of fun talk about prison today, but I am here to scare you straight. I AM HERE TO SCARE YOU STRAIIIGHT!! In prison you are somebody’s bitch. Oh, and you. You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball. Don’t drop the soap! Don’t drop the soap!" - Michael

"Michael, please." - Ryan

"Where… did you learn all of this?"  - Jim

Internet.” - Michael

So, not prison.” - Jim

"And prison. Eh, fifty-fifty, both. Look, prison stinks, is what I’m saying. It’s not like you can go home, and, recharge your batteries, and come back in the morning and, be with your friends, having fun in the office." -Michael

What’d you do, Prison Mike?" - Jim

I stole. … And I robbed. And I kidnapped… the… president’s son. And held him for ransom." - Michael

That is… quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike.” - Jim

And I never got caught, neither." - Michael

Well, you’re… in… prison, but, mmhmm." - Jim

Prison Mike? What was the food like in prison?" - Pam

Gruel. Sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.” - Michael

Wow. Prison sounds horrible.” - Andy

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you, Andy. Tanks.” - Michael

Prison Mike, what’s the very very worst thing about prison?" - Dwight

Don’t encourage him, Dwight.” - Angela

The worst thing about prison was the… was the Dementors. They… were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they’d come down, and they’d suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!" - Michael

22 notes
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  5. murphmind reblogged this from notabadday and added:
    Note to self: Never EVER go to prison. At least without a wand
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    Harry Potter references make me love people even more.
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